I don't know why but this week, I feel very empty and numb. I felt like the time is moving so fast. I don't know why I become easily frustrated over things easily and I'm also a little bit pressured with next week events where there will be 3 quizzes in a row. Well, as usual I'm not well-prepared. I don't know how those quizzes would turn out soon.
Ever since I entered college, I feel like a never-ending loser as everything I'd done always turn out shit. I'm already numb with all my classmates' nasty assumption towards me (Yeah, I'm not a proactive students like em'. I can be considered as the most dysfunctional kid that ever exist in the so- proactive class ever). Well, I don't know when and where I will find happiness. All places that I'd been before were stressful except for my lower form school and primary school. I didn't feel any stress at all there but for the past couple years in my life, I always deal with stress and pressure and shits and things that really messed up my retarded mind.
I feel like a completely useless person ever. I'm not progressive as others. I really really such a loser. I don't know what I really want in my life. I feel like everything that I hope and dream is very impossible to achieve and it is 'impossible'. Positive words are not applicable anymore for me. I think right now, I'll just go through all those things that gonna harm me and eat me hungrily.
I hate living in a place full of malicious perspective. Why though? Why you really envy with me especially when I did something better than you? Why though, you are thousand times better than me. But, whenever i do something that 'slightly' surpass you, you will get very envy. I never jealous with your achievement though. Please stop the jealousy. It is really annoying.
You know what, your jealousy is driving me crazy as whenever i see your face I feel so sick until every night you are haunting me in my dreams and I can't stand the fact that I have to see your face for 2 years (including in my dreams too) !
Yelah, manusia mana yang suka tengok orang lain senang kan? Lagi suka kalau orang itu dalam kesusahan dan kegagalan. Itulah nikmat paling besar kan?
Even though the ache in my heart is not fully heal yet.
i will keep patient and patient
and wait for these 2 years to end as soon as possible
and leave this place and never ever meet you again !
bye
Ever since I entered college, I feel like a never-ending loser as everything I'd done always turn out shit. I'm already numb with all my classmates' nasty assumption towards me (Yeah, I'm not a proactive students like em'. I can be considered as the most dysfunctional kid that ever exist in the so- proactive class ever). Well, I don't know when and where I will find happiness. All places that I'd been before were stressful except for my lower form school and primary school. I didn't feel any stress at all there but for the past couple years in my life, I always deal with stress and pressure and shits and things that really messed up my retarded mind.
I feel like a completely useless person ever. I'm not progressive as others. I really really such a loser. I don't know what I really want in my life. I feel like everything that I hope and dream is very impossible to achieve and it is 'impossible'. Positive words are not applicable anymore for me. I think right now, I'll just go through all those things that gonna harm me and eat me hungrily.
I hate living in a place full of malicious perspective. Why though? Why you really envy with me especially when I did something better than you? Why though, you are thousand times better than me. But, whenever i do something that 'slightly' surpass you, you will get very envy. I never jealous with your achievement though. Please stop the jealousy. It is really annoying.
You know what, your jealousy is driving me crazy as whenever i see your face I feel so sick until every night you are haunting me in my dreams and I can't stand the fact that I have to see your face for 2 years (including in my dreams too) !
Yelah, manusia mana yang suka tengok orang lain senang kan? Lagi suka kalau orang itu dalam kesusahan dan kegagalan. Itulah nikmat paling besar kan?
Even though the ache in my heart is not fully heal yet.
i will keep patient and patient
and wait for these 2 years to end as soon as possible
and leave this place and never ever meet you again !
bye
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